Summer Preview Series: Q&A with “NC State Football”

Heading into this season, NC State will undergo an overhaul on offense, replacing its starting quarterback, running back, two of its top receivers, and three of its starting offensive linemen. With such heavy roster turnover, Shakin the Southland thought it best to ask those who know Wolfpack football best to gauge the status of the program and glean their thoughts with the season on the horizon.

For this Q&A, we speak with our anonymous NCSU source who is very in-tune with the Wolfpack program to provide accurate and completely serious insights of their team (in actuality the NCSU site wouldn’t didn’t respond to our outreach for this article, cowards).

NC State has really been moving up the proverbial food chain of college football. Last year they managed a landmark home win over Virginia. The year before they had a huge win over the eventual eight-win Louisville Cardinals. Let’s put aside the consecutive losses to Wake Forest and the 39-point Gator Bowl loss. Where do the Fightin’ Wolves of North Carolina State fit in the world of college football after those landscape altering victories?

Well, we can certainly say that we’re among the powerhouses of the ACC. Everybody wants to talk about Clemson, but their schedule was soft and they didn’t really beat anyone worth talking about all season except us, which doesn’t count; only reason we lost last year is because of the laptop still on the sidelines. Everyone saw it when they held it up to call a play.

Everyone underestimates just how pivotal that Louisville game was for our team. It’s vaulted us right into contention for the ACC. Personally, I see us as dark horses to make the Playoff and win the whole thing. Instead of focusing on Dino Babers and Syracuse as the “biggest challenge” to Clemson in the Atlantic, they should be talking about us. Everyone knows you can never keep a good Pack down.

Dave Doeren is a man of integrity. Unlike Coach Swinney, who uses modern vices such as the internet, Coach Doeren is anti-laptop. I respect him for it. How has he built his program around his strong anti-laptop convictions?

Coach Doeren has built an incredible culture dispelling laptops. They only distract and take away innovation from the game. People say they use them for social media and branding for their program? Yeah right. It doesn’t take all of that if you have the right coach. Doeren’s old-school mentality (who else could pull off the T-shirt tucked into khaki pants look) has pushed the Wolfpack to the level they’re at today. NC State has some of the best, most hospitable fans in the ACC, if not all of college football. Doeren has only helped elevate that to new levels. Personally I’d peg him as the best coach in the ACC and one of the best in college football.

Aside from Clemson your biggest rivals are UNC and Wake Forest. You’ve beaten UNC three straight, but they have jumped past you in recruiting and have some positive momentum with the Mack Brown hire. How will that impact the rivalry?

I mean, unless Roy Williams walks out there with a headset, Mack Brown’s got nothing on Dave Doeren. We’ve established ourselves as the premier football team in North Carolina, even better than the Panthers, and a few recruiting classes aren’t going to change that. In fact, I say we can easily win the next three meetings. With all due respect to Mack Brown, he’ll be hard pressed to beat us while he’s at UNC.

Then you have Wake Forest who somehow has back-to-back wins over State. Given that along with UNC’s struggles, is it fair to say that Wake Forest owns the state and Mack Brown and Dave Doeren are giving chase?

I guarantee Wake Forest used laptops to cheat in both of those games and spied on us prior. We were the real victim of Wakeyleaks. I wouldn’t put it past them to use such underhanded tactics and I think it shows since they’ve edged us in close games since the scandal. And our team was just unfocused after giving everyone our best all year. It’s not that Wake Forest was better; it’s just that we were tired from a long season. Nothing more. Mack Brown might be a big name, but he’s gotta climb the ladder like everyone else, too. But Doeren and the Pack are ready for it. I have high expectations for this season. Nothing’s been the same since I ditched my laptop, and we can only go up from here.

Note: This article is purely satirical and not indicative of the true opinions of Shakin The Southland nor of our fellow colleagues at Backing The Pack.