What’s going on y’all?
I took a week off from hating because while I’m a firm believer in punching down (I have no choice in the matter) I still couldn’t reach the Terriers. The boys got a little break from the grind of the ACC schedule (did I phrase that correctly) before facing the NC State, Wake Forrest, U of SC gauntlet that awaits them over the next 3 weeks. I hope they’re well rested, because it’s time to kick things into the “Championship Phase.”
The 5th ranked Tigers head into Raleigh still reeling from their 1 point win/loss in Chapel Hill 5 weeks ago. Nothing has shaped the 2019 college football landscape more than Clemson’s win over the Tarheels.
“We think Clemson is good, but it’s hard to tell because they beat North Carolina on the road in September,” is a common refrain heard on sports radio these days. Honestly, I’m starting to feel bad for UNC, and I never thought that was possible.
Put yourself in the position of a Tarholes for a moment (this may require copious amounts of peyote). The undefeated, defending National Champions are ranked outside the top 4 because they only beat your team by one point in Chapel Hill. How disrespected must UNC fans feel right now?
Think about that for a moment....now stop thinking, because this was a trick question. There’s no such thing as a UNC football fan. If you put yourself in the position of a UNC fan, all you thought about was the basketball game against UNCW tonight.
Clemson returns to the state of the UNC crime this weekend to exact revenge on UNCs squirrely little brother, the NC State Wolfpack. Luckily, outside of Bobby Petrino, there’s not a coach in the ACC that Dabo dislikes more than Dave Doeren. If State fans think the 41-7 beating Clemson administered to their undefeated 5 win team last year was bad, just wait until they see what’s in store for their 4-4 team this year. This was going to be an ugly game regardless, but the fact that it comes on the back of blatant Clemson disrespect we all witnessed in the poll...that 30+ plus spread will be covered by halftime. Anything less than total annihilation will be considered a failure.
Let’s get to the hate.
Y’all remember when people thought Doeren was a good coach because he went 9-4 and won the Sun Bowl with a fluky group of talented seniors?
We’ll look back on 2017 as the golden year of Wolfpack football under Dirty Dave. Shockingly enough, hitting the lottery on 3* recruits that turn into NFL players doesn’t appear to be a sustainable strategy, and this pack of wolves isn’t as formidable as the one that just left Raleigh.
You want to know why the ACC sucks at football? Look no further than perma-concussed meat heads like Doeren that roam the ACC sidelines every Saturday. What Dave lacks in football acumen and coaching ability, he makes up for in unlikability,,,or wait...that’s not how that saying works. Anyway, he’s bad at his chosen vocation, but somehow is still allowed to pursue his passion for losing football games at a supposed Power 5 conference school.
Welcome to ACC football ladies and gentlemen.
I’ll give it to Dave though (I’m getting the saying correct this time) what he lacks in coaching, he makes up for in his ability to con athletic directors. The man signed a 3.25 million dollar a year extension this off-season to ensure mediocre football in Raleigh for the next 5 seasons. It’s laughable how bad ACC athletic directors are at football coaching contracts. Were y’all afraid someone was going to swoop in and steal your middling football coach out from under you?
Oh wait, the Tennessee Vols did contact Dave during their infamous coaching search. Sometimes history is funnier than anything I can make up. This is an actual, no kidding quote from USA Today after they FOI’d John Curry’s (the former UT AD) email.
After Tennessee didn’t reach a deal with Gundy, Currie exchanged messages with Doeren’s agent, Jordan Bazant.
”Let’s get this done,” Bazant wrote to Currie on Nov. 28.
Two days later, on the morning of Nov. 30, Bazant wrote: “He is fired up.”
When Currie didn’t respond, Bazant wrote: “Really need to hear from you.”
Doeren received a new deal from N.C. State later that day.
Currie’s next message was to Leach, whom he was prepared to meet in Los Angeles.
That’s right folks, John Curry ghosted Dave Doeren.
He got one look at Doeren in the light, jumped out the window, landed in a dumpster, crawled out, brushed the 5 day old lo-mein noodles out of his hair, blocked Dave’s number, and called up Mike Leach. Dave left several increasingly desperate voice messages talking about “true love” and “his connection on a spiritual level with Tennessee” before finally giving up and slinking back to the Wolfpack.
The sad part about this entire situation is that NC State had the perfect excuse to get rid of their unfaithful coach. They were in position to reboot their program. Maybe bring in a coach who can get his guys lined up properly on a consistent basis. Instead, they begged him for forgiveness and offered him a new contract. Doeren tried to cheat on them, and all NC State said was “I’m sorry baby, it’s all my fault. We’ll do better. Here’s a new contract, just please don’t leave us.”
Doeren will always be the sniveling, snot nosed, teary eyed child crying after games because Dabo knocked him down on the playground and kicked mud in his eye and stole his lunch money.
You hear a lot about “culture fits” these days, and even though NC State whiffed on coaching talent, Dave is a perfect fit for their culture. Sometimes in life, you end up with the short end of the stick.
That’s all NC State knows.
They’re the North Carolina safety school. No one wants to end up at NC State, but sometimes bad decisions lead to bad decisions and you find yourself in Raleigh on a Saturday afternoon watching your football team get dog walked by Clemson and you have 2 choices to make.
You can own up to your short comings, take your loss like a man (or woman), learn from your mistakes, and overcome whatever tragedy landed you at NC State.
You can blame someone (anyone else) for your shortcomings and failures in order to salvage what little pride you have left.
NC State fans may lack things like “ a winning tradition”, “class”, and “post 1979 ACC Championships” but they’re never short on excuses. Dave might not be a good football coach, but no one can ever accuse him of not buying into the Wolfpack culture.
I’ll let Dave play me out....
Oh, and Penn State...
When the polls came out, I told y’all it was all about Ohio State, but then you had to go and open your mouth with an opinion.
Well...this is how we’re going to have to do this.
Bring your cute little white tee-shirts, your Citrus Bowl runners up medal, and the ghost of Joe Pa and meet Clemson anywhere in America. You want to play in Happy Valley during a driving snow storm in February?
Fine with me.
Clemson will drag you around the field like the 2nd tier Big 10 pretenders that you are. I would tell you to ask your big brother Ohio State about the Tigers, but they’re out back waxing our bus.
Trust me, you don’t want any part of Clemson, so stop, you’re embarrassing yourselves.