Once, again, it’s time for everyone to live vicariously through my hate. This week, the mighty Clemson Tigers return to Death Valley to take on (scans schedule) Boston College.
Clemson enters this game on the back of another disappointing performance. Clemson entered the hallowed grounds of White Castle Stadium at Long John Silvers field and scratched out another disappointing victory in front of roughly 50K mildly interested Cardinal fans, who obviously had dinner reservations in the 4th quarter.
Clemson kindly introduced the neophyte Louisville fans to the game of football in the first 3 quarters, carrying a 33 – 7 lead into the 4th quarter before Lamar Jackson broke free from the Clemson reserves and showed once again why he won the Heisman last year.
You see, Bobby Petrino is a true sportsman and understands that you play all 4 quarters of a game regardless of the score. Dabo Swinney, on the other hand, showed no class, pulling his starters in the 3rd quarter, and depriving the 14 remaining Louisville fans that were too drunk to walk back to their car a sporting contest. I hope Dabo was taking notes on class from Petrino and does better in the future.
Meanwhile, this is the second game this season where Kelly Bryant failed to complete the task at hand, giving way, just as he did in the Kent State game, to younger options. At this point, I’m really starting to question Bryant’s conditioning and fully expect him to once again fail to finish the game against Boston College. When it comes time for awards season and Bryant’s numbers fail to stack up to the garbage-time master, Lamar Jackson, he’ll only have himself to blame.
Luckily, Clemson will have a chance to redeem its shaky 4th quarter performance on Saturday, as the Boston College Eagles come to roost in Death Valley.
Now, let’s get to the…. wait, no, hold up, I want to add a new segment to this article before I get busy hating on Boston College…I’m calling it…..
Louisville Fans On Twitter That Think I’m Terrible And Definitely Mad Online!
This well crafted tweet by Mr. Suntanna (if that’s his real name) attempted to strike directly at my heart.
You are a horrible writer. Just thought I'd let you know. You sound like a two year old.— Carlos Suntanna (@SleepyT) September 15, 2017
This next tweet is a 2 for 1 from a Mr. RealTrillBill (I question his trillness, even if he is actually named Bill) and a Mr. Carson Jones (I think that’s probably his real name), who invited me on his podcast,to discuss the fact that I’m obviously Mad Online! I accepted this invitation, but sadly, have yet to hear back from Mr. Jones. I’m sure I could have improved his podcast hits exponentially, but his loss I guess.
@LegendofSM drew you seem to be mad. Care to come on the podcast to discuss your argument?— Carson Jones (@CarsonJones1) September 14, 2017
This final entry comes from a Mr. Mark Blankenbarker (actual name I think). You may know Mr. Blankenbarker as the guy with the “Fake Noise” sign on Gameday.
Mr. Blankenbarker is obviously unaware that Clemson fans are bound by Southern Hospitality, and are therefore accommodating to Louisville fans in person, only to have our womenfolk hit them with a “bless their hearts” as soon as they leave the tailgate.
Here we go with Clemson Twitter.— Mark Blankenbaker (@UofLSheriff50) September 11, 2017
Nice to your face. Horrible on Social Media.
SUNDAY NICE. https://t.co/Z0ckB5w7cg
Ok, now that I’ve been exposed as a duplicitous, horrible writer who is obviously Mad Online!, lets get to hating on....who are we playing again...oh yea, B.C.
Boston College...A Brief Autopsy
Honestly, its hard to come up with much hate on Boston College because they are just so damned apathetic.
The Eagles soared into the ACC under Tom O’Brien, going 9-3 in 2005 and 10-3 in 2006, finishing both seasons ranked in the top 20. Then, O’Brien left for NC. State, and that should have been the ACC’s first hint that B.C. didn’t really care about football.
NC. State should never be able to pry a football coach away from a Power 5 team. If your program is unwilling, or unable, to go head to head with the Wolfpack for a coach, you obviously don’t care about football. B.C. had Matt Ryan at Q.B. and Tom O’Brien left them for a 3-9 N.C. State team...just let that sink in...he left Matt Ryan for a rebuild in Raleigh.
Things still looked great for B.C. Matt Ryan and new head coach Jeff Jagodzinski led the Eagles to 11-3 record in 2007, breaking Clemson’s heart and winning the Atlantic Conference. Boston College finished the season ranked 10th, and at one point in the season, were actually ranked 2nd...in the country...out of all the teams, people thought Boston College was the 2nd best one. That is almost as amazing as the 1 week USCe spent at #2. It honestly looks like a typo.
Then, the wheels (or wings) fell off the Eagles. Jagodzinski went 9-5 with the Ryanless Eagles, and then things got weird. Jagodzinski was told by the B.C. A.D. not to interview for the open New York Jets job, Jagodzinski interviewed anyway, and B.C. canned him the next day. Rex Ryan ended up with the Jets job: the fired Jagodzinski ended up as the O.C. for the Tampa Bay Bucs. B.C. was willing to play hardball with Jagodzinski, but let Tom O’Brien walk to Raleigh...it just makes no sense, none.
B.C. apparently decided they were tired of losing coaches to other jobs, and hired the completely uninspiring Frank Spaziani. Spaziani managed to win 8 games in his first year, put together 3 uninspiring seasons, and then bottomed out in 2012 with a 2-10 season and got fired and replaced by equally uninspiring Steve Addazio.
Addazio has managed to go 7-6 in 3 of his first 4 seasons at B.C. and honestly, that’s probably the program’s ceiling. Win a few cupcakes in the non-conference, knock off a few of the bottom feeding ACC programs, and hope to God they send them someplace warm so the 50 or so fans that follow their program can get a few days of thawing.
That’s Boston College for you, not spectacularly bad, not good, just boring and uninspired.
I’m Bored of This:
It’s not fun to hate on a team that doesn’t care. B.C. and their fans are, at best, apathetic. I’ll hand it to Louisville fans, they might not understand football but they don’t understand it with a passion. 4 Boston College fans will read this, and all 4 will agree that their program is as bland as a New England Boiled Dinner.
Can we talk about a New England Boiled Dinner for a moment? My understanding is they throw a hunk of meat, some cabbage, and other veggies in a pot and boil them until everything turns gray. This is prison food, and not even Federal prison food. I suppose it’s not surprising that the most bland college football team in the nation claims the most bland regional dish in the nation. Seriously, if a Boston College fan does happen to wander into your tailgate (I'm going to assume it’s a players parent), please feed them. They are returning to a dark, cold land of dirty snow and boiled food, and most likely need a little hope in their lives.
Poking With A Stick:
Tom Brady got the suspension he deserved.
Gronk is made of glass.
Manny was on the juice as a Red Sock.
Johnny Damon made a great decision.
Theo Epstein is in a better place now.
Sweet Caroline is a garbage song.
Doug Flutie was a mediocre NFL QB...at best.
The Boston Bruins, a supposed historic franchise has won as many NHL titles as the Anaheim Ducks in my lifetime.
Matt Ryan choked (sorry Atlanta fans).
The Celtics jut spent a bunch of money to be the second best team in the East again.
B.U. is a far superior to B.C. in hockey.
The Moral of the Story:
Clemson is going to finish this one before halftime, and Boston College won’t really care that much. This team got blown out by Wake at home, and about 12 people witnessed it.
You’ll get to see a bunch of our young guys run around in the second half, and still dominate Boston College. I’ll probably fall asleep on the couch at some point, wake up, and rewind to see Travis Etienne’s 90 yard touchdown.
I’ll be back with better hate for Va. Tech, I’m just having a hard time hating on B.C. They have assumed the fetal position and are providing no resistance to the beating.
If you’re going to take Grandma, Grandpa, and the kids to the game, this is probably a good choice.