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Troy? Yup, I Hate Him...I Mean Them

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Clemson, fresh off a victory against the obsolete Tigers/Eagles/Plainsmen of Auburn, look to dispatch yet another team from Alabama this weekend. Troy University rolls into town on Saturday looking to knock the Tigers off their perch at the top of the college football landscape. You might find it hard to hate a nondescript, cannon fodder team like Troy, but I’m a professional hater, and I’m here to help hone your hatred, with the top 8 reasons to hate Troy (I tried to come up with 10, and I couldn’t, which makes me hate them even more).

1. 2011 – The 1st half of Boooooo: Troy came into Death Valley in 2011 and led 16-13 at halftime. Clemson fans booed the Tigers off the field. I posted several internet hot takes about how Dabo would never win and how Chad Morris was a joke. We won the game 43 -19 and I looked like an idiot. I hate looking like an idiot and I blame Troy.

Miami Hurricanes v Clemson Tigers Photo by Craig Jones/Getty Images

2. Vic Koenning’s salty tears: Dabo gave Vic the boot after his defenses put up decent numbers but perpetually collapsed in the clutch. Vic was salty about getting canned and ripped into Clemson in an interview while comparing himself to a beautiful rose bush. The beautiful rose will be back in Clemson this weekend.

3. The State of Alabama: This is the third straight team from Alabama we’ve played. There is only one team from Alabama I want to play, and we have to wait until the end of the season to play them. I’m tired of dispatching their little brothers.

4. T-Roy: The Troy Trojan’s mascots name is T-Roy…. I’m not joking. I’m glad we avoided calling the Clemson Tiger C-lemson. Also, just look at this guy ... he’s got a hateable face.

5. Strength of Schedule: At one point, Troy was a respectable program, but they’ve been pretty terrible the last few years. Sure, they beat Austin Peay last week, but I’m expecting them to be a black hole in our S.O.S. argument at the end of the year.

6. The Trojan War: Win this one for Achilles.

7. Troy Williamson: Sure, he has nothing to do with Troy University, but still, it’s close enough for me to hate.

Mississippi State v University of South Carolina

8. Neal Brown: Troy’s coach is less than a year older than me (36). That makes me feel old, and I hate feeling old.

Troy v Mississippi State Photo by Butch Dill/Getty Images