2012 Post Open Date Sunday Thoughts

Joshua S. Kelly-US PRESSWIRE - Presswire

First off, the Wagon will be in South Carolina. Shit could get real when a celebrity goes up to Tigertown. If you were at Pearlz Oyster Bar for the Carolina game yesterday, you reaslized a couple things. (A) Les Miles is an idiot. Not only can he manage to fuck up his timeout situation, but he also managed to keep Scar in the game with stupid ass plays that don’t involve the isolation or dive play. Had Les put on his Danny Ford britches, LSU wouldn’t have attempted a pas (check that, they would have tried a halfback pass around the 40 yard line) and South Carolina would have gotten their ass whipped. (B)writing tickets for underage drinking is more important than keeping crack dealers off the streets. I don’t know about you, but I am more concerned about the crackhead trying to push dope on the street more than a drunk ass 19 year old. If that 19 year old is from South Carolina, he’ll likely call me sir. The crackhead will shoot me. I was discussing the LSU game last night with Dr. B when some dipshit decided he would make a threat then tell me he was an undocumented physician. We have no tolerance for drugs or jackass homeless pushers. Columbia is a shithole and you should keep your kids away. (C) While Dr. B hasn’t let me out of my -6.5 Carolina bet, I don’t really care because I found Cockfan to give me +6.5 Clemson…hedge the bets you know you won’t win.

Which brings me to (D) and the final point. You guys will be happy about this one. Gloves are fucking off. I have pulled for South Carolina for a long time and the Gamecocks were OK when they weren’t losing. Dr. B told me one day I would get sick of their shit and I said no way. Well, I am sick of their shit. New Figurefour, we won’t lose to South Carolina. You will still get your dose of Motley and Slick Ric, but I expect Clemson to roll through the rest of the schedule. In fact, I’ll comment on the bullshit but assure you we talk about Carolina. I can’t stand these folks doing us again, so here we go.

IF LSU did what me and Dr. B wanted, they would have won by three touchdowns. ISO, ISO, ISO, Power, ISO, Dive, Dive, Dive, Dive, Touchdown. Repeat and, whatever you do, don’t throw the ball downfield. When in doubt, run the dive. If you are even more in doubt, run the ISO. When you have Flagler AND Flowers in your backfield, you better make sure both those motherfuckers are tired at games’ end (and that was the issue last night). Aside from Les Miles’ stupidity, we have one mission now: BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF SOUTH CAROLINA!

We don’t think Carolina is unbeatable and we believe Clemson is good enough to achieve the task. In fact, we think Clemson’s schedule is such a bullshit cakewalk that I’ll focus on nothing more than Clemson’s march to beating Scar’s ass. Dr. B will join in and, if we lose to the Gamecocks again, you will be able to press the coaches and cuss them out. I assure you, when we play Scar, you will know where they are strong, how to challenge them, and, most important, how to whip their ass. And, yes, we know Coach Dabo is reading this…that is why we are doing this. Maybe the stream will be “Roadmap to whipping SCar’s ass.”

Here is what I learned last weekend. If LSU had run the ball between the tackles all, night, they win by 21. They finally started playing big boy football late and won because of it. We can’t play big boy football because our center sucks. Put a 0 over Dalton Freeman and he shits his pants. How he was an All-American and can’t move a damn soul is beside me, but that is what we are stuck with. We can’t run the fucking ISO because Dalton Freeman can’t (A) dominate the nose or (B) get an easy seal. South Carolina makes this a cake play, so we have to get better here.

Anyway, I learned that South Carolina isn’t ready to play big boy football. I don’t think Clemson is right now either. Dabo isn’t Bebes and that is our fault. Shit, come Thanksgiving, if you don’t know South Carolina inside and out, it is because you either don’t come to our site daily or are a fucking idiot. You will know the Gamecocks inside and out and WE WILL TELL YOU HOW CLEMSON WILL BEAT THEM. We have a joke of a schedule over the next month and ASSUME Dabo can navigate the likes of Duke and Wake Forest. Again…I repeat…IF WE DO NOT BEAT SOUTH CAROLINA IT IS BECAUSE OUR STAFF HAS THEIR HEADS UP THEIR ASSES AND DOESN’T DO WHAT STS SAYS”.

If you couldn’t tell, I’ve had enough. Fuckem.

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